Recipe for Disaster
by chrisso
Summary: The Cullens and Bella have a baby project for school
1. Chapter 1

Recipe for disaster

I don't own Twilight or any of its characters

A/N My brother decided to have a midnight BBQ tonight so I am locked in my room, I came up with this while I was trying to sleep. I hope you like it. I am tired so I hope it makes sense.

Monday

I was sitting in my usual seat in Biology next to my usual lab partner and boyfriend Edward Cullen. Class had barely started when I let my mind wander. I wasn't really interested in what was happening in class and having a lab partner that has repeated high school over and over has its advantages. I decided to amuse myself by trying to find one flaw on Edwards perfect face, I didn't expect to find a flaw but I still rolled my eyes when I couldn't find one single thing, I silently cursed the huge pimple that had appeared on my forehead over night as it was just another reminder that I would never look like I belong with Edward, well not until he decided to change me, hopefully he would agree to change me before I started getting wrinkles.

As class ended Edward caught me staring, I felt my cheeks turn a slight shade of pink from being caught, I am thankful he can't hear my thoughts. Edward smiled at me looking more perfect than before, if that is even possible. I smiled back at him as he led me out the door and to his car.

He was still smiling when we got to the car, I quickly wiped my face in case I had some left over lunch stuck to it. I couldn't find anything, I was getting paranoid.

"Edward, what are you smiling at?" I snapped

"What were you thinking about in class today?" he asked

"Hey, don't change the subject I asked first" I really didn't want to admit what I had been thinking about.

"Well, whatever you were thinking about must have been very interesting because you didn't hear a word that was said in class did you"

"Oh it was very interesting, but anyway I was listening" I lied

"No you weren't, Bella you are a terrible liar why are you being so difficult, if you were listening what was the lesson about" ok he got me on that one

"I was listening, I just need a moment I'm still gathering my thoughts" I was bluffing, I knew he was right and I was wrong but I didn't want to admit it, he was always right about everything so sometimes I felt the need to be difficult rather than swoon at his perfectness.

"Alright Bella, I trust you, so will you be my partner for the assignment we are getting tomorrow" Oh we're getting an assignment, that's why he asked he must have been worried when I didn't ask him to be my partner

"Oh Edward, was all this because I didn't ask you straight away to be my partner, I just assumed that we would be partners because we always are" ha now it sounds like I was listening.

Edward stopped the car, I was about to ask why he had stopped until I looked out the window and realised we were already at home.

"I will see you later tonight, I am going to go hunting with Alice and Jasper" he said

"Alright, see you soon" I tried to hide the disappointment in my voice, I knew he had to hunt but I still would miss him even if it was only for a few hours.

When I finished my homework I looked at the clock, Edward wouldn't be back for hours. I decided to make a special dinner for Charlie. I would take as long as possible cooking and hopefully distract myself enough not to notice Edward's absence.

I decided on cooking chicken Parmigiana because the cheese on top would melt and turn a beautiful golden brown just like Edward's eyes. It didn't take long enough to make and then I had to wait for them to cook which left me with more time to dwell in Edwards absence, I started daydreaming , I imagined what the chicken would look like when it was cooked, would it even remotely compare to the perfect golden brown of Edwards eyes? It wasn't until Charlie spoke to me that I snapped out of my daydreaming.

"How long until dinners ready Bella?" he asked

"um not long now" I replied as I realised that I had forgotten all about the chicken in the oven.

I opened the oven and a small waft of smoke escaped. Great I burnt the dinner. I examined the chicken to see if there was any saving it, it wasn't too bad the cheese on the top was charred but the rest was fine, I put it on our plates and put the tomato sauce bottle on the table.

I apologised to Charlie as we sat down, he didn't mind he just smothered his with the tomato sauce. It wasn't until I was half way through the meal that I realised that my chicken was black, just like Edwards's eyes were when he was thirsty. The chicken was perfect as Edward was out hunting. I chocked on my mouthful of chicken as I went into a fit of laughter. Charlie just stared at me silently as I tried to calm myself down.

"You go and lie down, I will wash up tonight" said Charlie when we finished our burnt chicken, he must be worried about me.

I went to my room and waited for Edward to return. I thought about sleeping while I waited but I got worried that Edward wouldn't wake me and then I would have to wait until the morning to see him, I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep anyway, so I tidied my room until I found myself pacing from the window to the door so i got ready for bed as slowly as possible, I made sure I brushed each individual tooth, I even moisturised which is something I never do. I lay down in my bed trying to think of something other than Edward. My mind went blank, what else could I think of besides Edward, nothing else was worth thinking about.

Tick, tick, tick, tick I could hear the seconds hand on my watch, it was driving me insane. I tried putting my hand under my pillow but I could still hear the ticking only now it was slightly muffled. I had had enough I took off my watch and threw it across the room, I watched with amazement as it flew straight out the open window. I knew that was a bit extreme, I hadn't been trying to do that but now that I had the relief flooded me, no more ticking.

My room now felt strangely quiet, it was too quiet, how I longed for the ticking to return. I closed my eyes as tried to imagine I still had my watch on, I was sure I could hear it, I must be going insane but I can hear it, the ticking as constant as a heartbeat. I opened my eyes to see Edward standing in my room holding my watch.

I jumped out of bed and grabbed my watch whispering a quiet sorry to it, as I put it back on.

"Did you two have a fight?" asked Edward, Dam that vampire hearing

I nodded.

Now that Edward was back I realised how tired I was, I feel asleep within moments of saying goodnight.


	2. Chapter 2

Tuesday

When arrived at school I felt like all the Cullen's were hiding something from me. It felt like the times Emmett would watch me waiting for me to trip over. I decided I was being paranoid but I still walked extra carefully just in case they were watching me.

The day flew by and the whole school seemed to be buzzing. Soon I was sitting next to Edward in biology again. I decided I would try to listen to our lesson today just to show Edward that I could. Our teacher hadn't even finished calling out the role when I got distracted by Edwards's perfection.

I was disrupted by Edward calling my name "Bella"

"What?" I asked Edward wondering if the lesson was already finished

"Do you want to get it or shall I?" he asked. Get what I wondered, I decided to play it safe.

"I will" I got up and I looked around to see half the class walking to the front of the room so I followed their direction.

I stood next to Mike. "Is Cullen your partner?" he asked "Yep" I answered, that was the only answer I knew, "Who's yours?" I asked

"Jessica" I was about to ask him what we were doing when my name was called.

"Bella, are you ready?" asked our teacher, Mr Banner

"Sure" I answered

"Well take a slip of paper out of the hat" he prompted me

I reached in and took a slip of paper "Boy" I read it out loud, I was so confused.

I was handed a bag of sugar, I looked up at Mr Banner "sir, what am I supposed to do with that?" I asked. I heard snickers from across the room.

"Bella, that's your baby boy, now take it back to your partner" I was shocked, why didn't they give us any warning about this.

I carried the bag of sugar back to Edward. "Why didn't you tell me about this?" I asked him

"You said you were listening yesterday" he looked smug, I wanted to hit him in his perfect face but I knew it would hurt me more than it hurt him.

"So what should we call him?" he asked, I thought about it for a while

"Edward Jr, I want to name him after his perfect daddy" Edward frowned

"I am not having you name a bag of sugar after me" his voice still sounding as sweet as the sugar that was our 'child'

I huffed, "fine what's your middle name?" feeling ashamed when I realised I didn't know his middle name.

"Anthony"

"Anthony" I repeated. It would work, it didn't flow as smoothly off my lips as Edward but it would be a fine name for our sugar bag baby.

I picked up the bag of sugar off the desk and started cooing at it "Hello Anthony, I'm your mummy and this is your daddy" I said in a baby voice then I dropped it back on the desk.

"Isabella Marie Swan" Edward scolded me. I scowled when he said my full name "I want you to take this seriously, you really need to think about whether or not you want to give this all up if I were to change you" his expression was serious but his eyes were warm as he gently picked up the bag of sugar.

"So are you ok with the name Anthony?" I asked feeling guilty that I hadn't asked his approval

"Sure, whatever you want" he said

"Well I did want to call him Edward" I reminded him

"Anthony it is" and with that class was finished.

We went to the Cullen's house I was surprised to see that the others had been given similar projects.

"Now that everyone's here let's introduce the new family members" said Alice

We all sat around the table with our 'babies'

I looked around the table, in front of Alice and Jasper were two eggs, the eggs were dressed in tiny nappies and they were sitting in a pale yellow box that matched Alice's sundress perfectly.

"This is Alistair and Jasmine" said Alice, she didn't sound very amused.

"aww" cooed Esme

"How did you get nappies to fit eggs" I asked

Alice rolled her eyes "Ask Jasper, he made them"

We all stared at him

"I can't help it, all the girls at school were so excited I couldn't help feeling excited too"

"Okay moving on" said Carlisle

"This is Ruby" said Emmett pointing to the bag of flour on Rosalie's lap

"And this is Iris" said Esme, holding up a can of baked beans.

Nobody spoke

"What I didn't want to be left out" confessed Esme

"Well good on you" I said trying to break the silence "Iris is a very nice name"

Everyone was smirking at me, Emmett's booming laugh started everyone laughing too.

"I can't believe you fell for that Bella" said Esme as she put 'Iris' in the kitchen pantry.

"So what did you name your baby?" asked Esme as she returned to the table.

"Anthony" I said looking at Edward

I heard Emmett groan, I looked up at him.

Edward was standing up growling at Emmett.

Soon Rosalie was standing behind Emmett growling back at Edward.

Edward looked at Carlisle and backed down, "Fine, Bella lets go to my room" and he started walking away.

How could I say no to that, I quickly got up and followed Edward out of the room.

"What was that all about?" I asked when we reached his room

"I didn't like what he was thinking" said Edward in a low voice even though everyone in the house would be able to hear him anyway

"What was he thinking about our little Antho...?" I trailed off remembering that I had left Anthony sitting at the table. I hoped Edward hadn't noticed yet.

"I need a human moment" I said as I hurried out of the room

Everyone was still sitting at the table, well everyone except Anthony.

"Umm I was just getting a drink of water, does anyone want anything?" I asked trying to work out where I left Anthony.

"Of course not Bella, we don't eat remember" said Alice

I started to feel panicked, where could I have left Anthony, I was about to run upstairs to tell Edward that I had lost our child when I remember Jasper.

I looked at Jasper who avoided eye contact, yep he was controlling my emotions, even though I knew he was doing it I could feel the panic growing inside me. I looked around the table, everyone was smirking at me, except Rosalie she still looked upset.

"Please tell me where he is" I pleaded

"He's on the roof" Emmett told me

I went back up to Edward's room defeated, there was no way I would be able to get onto the roof, I could barely walk up the stairs. I would have to tell Edward I was a bad mother.

"Edward, I am a terrible mother" I looked down at my shoes "I forgot about Anthony and now he's on the roof"

Edward didn't answer me, he must be upset. I looked up to see Edward had left the room.

A short moment later he had returned with Anthony safely in his arms.

"Here Tony, your safe with your mummy again" he said as he handed me the bag of sugar.

"What did you call him?" I asked trying to stay calm

"Tony"

"We are not calling our child Tony it sounds so uncouth"

"Bella, don't you think your over reacting a little, most Anthony's get called Tony" I didn't look into his eyes as he spoke, I knew if I did I would agree and our child would be stuck with the name Tony forever.

"Well this one won't be!" I snapped

"Okay, fine" surrendered Edward "How about I take you and Anthony home, it's getting late"

"Can't I stay here like so we can be like a proper married couple?"

"No Bella, that's not necessary, isn't it enough that I stay at your house every night anyway?"

"Fine let's take Anthony home, he must be getting tired" I was regretting making such a fuss over the nickname Tony, Anthony was becoming a mouthful.

Edward took me home, we were hoping to scare Charlie by telling him we had a baby but he had already heard about the project, stupid small towns!


	3. Chapter 3

Wednesday

A/N I forgot to mention in the other chapters that I do not own twilight or its characters.

When Edward and I arrived at school it was drizzling. Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett were waiting by Rosalie's car for us. Jasper was holding the twins and Rosalie was holding Ruby protectively making sure she didn't get wet in the rain.

Rosalie seemed to be enjoying the project, the rest of us were not. I decided that today Edward should be responsible for Anthony as I carried him around yesterday.

I leaned in close to Edward, trying to look as sweet as possible so I would get my way.

"Edward" I whispered trying to sound sexy,

"Yes Bella" he said seductively. He sounded so good saying my name I lost my breath and forgot what I was saying.

It took me a moment to regain focus.

"Bella, are you okay" asked Edward

"Sure, why wouldn't I be" I snapped back, I was embarrassed that Edward could cause me to react like that just by saying my name.

"Well your face just went blank and you dropped Anthony, what were you thinking" he sounded cross, sure enough Anthony was now in Edwards hands and his bottom was soggy.

"Sorry Edward, it was an accident, it's just, well, you dazzled me" I could feel my face turning red. Emmett's booming laughter made everyone in the parking lot turn to see what had happened. I hide my bright red face in Edwards's chest.

"Come on Bella. Lets try and get Anthony dry so he doesn't start leaking" Edward led me towards the school buildings.

When we got to the toilets Edward hesitated between the two doors.

"Edward I will do it, it was my fault anyway"

I took Anthony and tried drying him with toilet paper, it didn't work the bottom of the bag was wet and the sugar was already turning mushy so I tried the hand dryer. It seemed to work a little so I aimed the second hand dryer on him too. It was all going well until I smelt burning sugar, before I could react the smoke alarms were going off. I grabbed Anthony who thank goodness wasn't on fire but he was smoking and ran out of the bathroom straight into Mrs Link.

"Principal's office now" she ordered

I went without trying to argue. I passed Anthony to Edward who followed me silently.

When I got there I knocked on the door and was told to go in, Edward waited outside. Mr Avery looked surprised to see me.

"Isabella, can you come back later I am very busy right now, A student has set off the fire alarms in the girls bathroom" Mr Avery told me. I didn't bother telling him that I preferred being called Bella

I could feel my cheeks heating up.

"Sir, it was me" I squeaked before he could push me out the door

"Oh what were you doing?" he asked, he looked angry.

"I dropped Anthony in a puddle and I was just trying to dry him, I tried using toilet paper but that didn't work so I used the hand dryers and they were doing a good job until the smoke alarms went off"

"Who is Anthony?" Mr Avery asked not looking convinced

"Anthony is the bag of sugar Mr Banner gave us for our biology assignments" I told him.

"Oh right, well where is Anthony now?"

"With Edward outside"

"Well go get him so I can see that you were telling the truth, bring Edward in too, I would like to speak to him too"

Edward was pacing in the hallway outside Mr Avery's office.

Of course he heard the whole conversation so I didn't have to tell him that Mr Avery wanted to see him.

Edward passed Anthony to Mr Avery to examine. A blob of soggy sugar and charred paper landed on his lap.

He handed Anthony back to Edward.

"Alright I believe your story but Isabella please try to be more careful in the future and Edward please watch out for her"

We both nodded and went to our first class, we missed about half the lesson but I wasn't worried it's not like I would have been listening anyway!

By lunch Edward had Anthony pretty dry. As we joined the Cullen's at our regular table they were all laughing at me.

"Edward change that girl now she is definitely not fit to be a mother" Alice told Edward

"Yes I agree, I told you I don't want to have babies, now will you believe me?" I pleaded

"A real baby would be different though" he tried to reason

"Oh my gosh imagine what would happen if she had a live baby" Emmett gasped in mock horror.

Edward chuckled, I'm sure everyone's thoughts were making me look really bad.

After lunch Edward tried to hand me Anthony.

"No you keep Ant today, I had him yesterday and last night so you can keep him tonight and we will trade back tomorrow" I threw in the new nickname I had been thinking about to see how Edward would react. Anthony was such a mouth-full, I shouldn't have been so stubborn about the nickname Tony but it's too late to take it back.

"Ant?" Edward questioned

"Is that alright with you?" I asked

"Of course it is Bella"

"Bella, Please get out your books" A female voice interrupted our conversation. I looked towards the voice, it was a teacher, I looked around the room everyone had already started doing work. I didn't know which class we were in or even the teacher's name. The last thing I remembered besides talking to Edward was sitting in the cafeteria. How could I zone out for that long? The answer was sitting right beside me. Edward. When he is around me I don't notice anything. Tomorrow I shall try my best to be a better student.

A/N Sorry for taking so long with this chapter, my life has been hectic. Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it. Please leave me a review.


	4. Chapter 4

Thursday

At school Edward gave me Ant to hold today because of the deal I made with him yesterday. I couldn't really understand the point of this assignment.

At lunch I asked the Cullen's about it.

"I find this assignment pointless, what do you guys think?" I asked

I'm sure I heard a little growl from Edward but I dismissed it and turned to Emmett.

"Really it doesn't worry me, Rosalie doesn't let me touch our child anyway, if the whole point of it is to turn teens off sex and babies it hasn't worked for me as it hasn't changed my life at all" he told me

"Fine, have her" Rosalie told Emmett as she passed him the bag of flour. I knew that was the only answer I would get from Rosalie as she stared at Emmett making sure he didn't damage her child.

"I have never wanted children, well I don't remember wanting them" said Alice "so this assignment is just a bothersome because eggs don't really go with Gucci"

"What are the feelings you are getting?" I asked Jasper

"Most people are frustrated but there are a few getting a little clucky" he told us. I didn't bother asking Edward what people were thinking, he was in a bad mood because I wasn't taking this assignment seriously.

On our way to class I was too busy staring at Edward and I walked into a wall. A huge egg formed almost instantly.

"You know, we could use this as an excuse to ditch" I told Edward trying to sound alluring

"Bella, don't you care about your education" Edward scoffed

"Everyone will stare at the huge planet forming on my head so that will make me even more uncoordinated plus I have a head-ache" I lied

"Well if you have a head-ache I will see what I can do" It didn't even take him two minutes to dazzle the school nurse and we were free to go.

As we left the school parking lot he asked me "Your house or mine"

"Neither" I told him "My head is feeling a lot better let's got to our meadow"

"Bella" he groaned, I waited for him to give in

"Okay"

We were lying in the meadow in no time at all. I loved seeing Edward sparkle especially when he planted kisses all over my body.

"Edward change me now" I couldn't believe when that escaped from my mouth

He just chuckled, at least he didn't stay no!

Then I felt a burning sensation on my foot, I couldn't believe he had actually bitten me, I had tears in my eyes as I felt his poison slowly moving up my leg. I closed my eyes and thrashed around

"Oh Edward, thank you" I gasped "But the foot really? You couldn't think of anywhere else?" I was beginning to worry that I didn't know enough about Edward, I was only now learning that Edward had a foot fetish and now I am stuck with him eternally, what else am I going to find out.

"Bella" Edward started to say before I cut him off

"Oh Edward it burns"

"Bella" Edward said roughly

I stopped thrashing around and looked at him

"Bella, it was a bee, you got stung by a bee" he said very slowly

I sat up and looked at my slightly swollen foot, I felt my face turning red. I was so embarrassed.

"Let's go" Edward said

"Do you think Alice saw that?" I asked sheepishly

"Probably"

"Do you think she told everyone?"

"Definitely"

"Okay then can we go to my place" Edward didn't answer me but he had a smug expression plastered on his face.

When we got to my house, we went up to my room.

There was a box sitting on my bed. I looked at Edward warily.

He grinned and nodded, telling me to open it.

I cautiously took off the lid. Inside was a stuffed toy, it was a bee. I rolled my eyes and threw it at Edward. I was sure I could faintly hear Emmett's laughter somewhere in the distance. I was dreading going to school tomorrow.

_A/N Thanks for reading. Please let me know what you think._


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